As many of you know, I minored in Latin because of my fascination with etymology. One of the first things you learn is the pluralization of Latin words. For example, you have one stimulus, many stimuli. Syllabus becomes syllabi. And so on.
That's why Sara and I thought it was so damned funny when a white Mustang pulled up next to us as we were coming home from dinner. Its vanity University of Arizona license plate said: PENI.
That's it. PENI!
If you'll remember our Latin lesson, peni is the plural form of penus, which means a wang or schlong. Or maybe it was just this poor girl's name. Who cares?
The more important thing here is that it's one letter away from penis, which is English for a wang or schlong. At this point, we were one Sharpie away from hopping out of the car and writing a big S right on there.
Luckily, fate had our back. Peni pulled ahead of us, onto our street and just past our townhouse, into the Galleria Palms apartments. You know, the ones where Seizure Andy lived junior year. And we watched Peni park right in the front.
Sara and I returned home to regroup, and she realized that she had some stick-on lettering laying around. The reflective kind like you put on a mailbox. We grabbed an S and headed for the Palms.
Getting in was the easy part. We snuck in behind a car while the gate was open. We did a recon lap, and then we hung back for a while. Lotta people out and about on a Friday night. Didn't wanna have to off anybody. Keep it clean. A lap around the building, and the Penimobile was still parked.
Of course, we didn't have an exit strategy. We were surrounded by fence, a freeway wall, and a number of eight-foot stucco-on-concrete walls. The traffic had died down, and we couldn't wait around for a car to come. Too suspicious. We didn't have any cigarettes, after all.
We wound up taking the sidewalk halfway around the Galleria Palms, around the back of our smaller condo complex. I hopped the wall there, and Sara got to the top of the fence and had a hard time getting down. Luckily I'm a tall bastard, and she was able to get on my shoulders and ride to safety.
Only one pair of teenagers saw us jumping the fence, and they were probably too stoned to do anything.
But did we get it? You bet your S we did!
