Arizona Cardinals

Monday Night Football is a cause for warning. Don't make the same mistakes I did - there are better things to do with your time and money. Don't watch the Cardinals on TV. Don't believe they'll get better. And don't go to University of Phoenix Stadium.

Alana is a TV star!

It's amazing what you can find on YouTube. Looks like somebody posted this rare clip from an Animal Planet documentary that happens to feature me, Sara and the soon-to-be-famous Alana as swimmers who were attacked by sea lampreys during a long-distance race in Vermont.



Our scene was shot in February at Saguaro lake, and the water was freezing. Sara had received the call for extras via the Leadership Scholarship program listserv. The British production crew was very nice, but it barely made up for the fact that the water was so cold it made you gasp and then made your head sting.

So when you see me and Alana on the beach, wrapped in foil blankets, drinking hot cider and looking genuinely pained - it's not acting. I don't even think we knew we were on camera.

I'm going to try to get my hands on some of the all-time classic Irish C videos and post them here. If you have any, please share them.

Direct link on YouTube

Superman is a hero, but nothing like this guy

This is the product of a University of Phoenix education. Student was assigned to write a 1500 word essay with 5 references, and crapped out this gem. The student wondered why he got no points.

Education the future to the world, and how are we taking use of it today. Society will benefit from school by not being Challenge, better opportunities, and being a role model for the youth. Having the ability to read and write is a gift to everyone.Being challenge in this world is a major problem to people. First, you cannot obtain a job or career. Second, you will abuse drugs, alcoholic. Last, not having the basics down will keep you from understanding reading in writing. Benefit from education will take you far.Opportunities is a gift of success to the world. education brings on careers. being able to take care of yourself and family financially. having full control of your future. taking a step toward financially stability is a blessing waiting for us.Myself live in community of kids, and also having a child of myself. mastering your skills and being the best at what you do children look up to you. Brushing off positively influence the youth to look toward the future. Superman is a hero, and so are you. Planting a seed, and saying stay in school don't be a fool.

Adams Gone Wild!

A broadcasting graduate from Arizona State University, Alana Wagner went on to win the Emmy for Best Video Ever.

Ballad of the Four Leaf Clovers

Please read the following as though it were a Ken Burns documentary narrated by Sam Elliott.

Irish-inspired Johnny Cash cover band by night, upper-middle rollers by later night. Not much else is known about the Four Leaf Clovers.

These rare photos from the Cover Band Hall of Fame in Las Vegas, Nevada, show the quartet during the peak of their careers:

Now Mike Kolb, who some say is a member of various other halls of fame in Las Vegas, Nevada, says these boys was ornery as a prickly pear. And, well, guess I'll let you see for yourself:

Yes sir, college boys.

Return of the Koef (to Spectacular Peninsulas)

The great state of Michigan is best known for three things: tart cherries, the auto industry and - best of all - Jonathan Koefoed.

Couple weeks ago, Sara and I came one step closer to living the Michigan dream when Pretty Jon himself stopped by Ann Arbor. Photography ensued:

(From left) Tim, Sara, Koef, Koef's lady friend Suzanne and Irish C regular/Ann Arbor native Kat Williams pose in the Kerrytown district after an almost-Arizona good Mexican lunch at Sabor Latino.


In this photo, Koef is a little less happy after finding out that Tim lost his leg in Vietnam.

Thanks to Koef, Kat and Suzanne for the mini-reunion in Michigan. All we need now is some Ted Nugent, and our Michigan experience will be complete. And maybe some Tigers hats. But, for serious, ones that actually fit.

Farewell, Tim and Sara

I made a Peanuts cartoon as a going-away present for Tim and Sara, who as you probably know are moving to Michigan this weekend. CLICK IT. Tim and Sara are looking to make a fresh start in the great white north, and let's all wish them well. Adios muchachos!

"I wanna be an animator like Charles Schultz."
-Freddy Got Fingered

Trumpets please... Hoff-man's auspicious return to The Desert

Hep2it baybee. Our fascist, baby killing friend Karl Hoffman will go on leave from said baby killing this UPCOMING SEP-TEM-BORE, and would LUVVV <3 a place to stay! Anyone know they can accommodate heeyim at that time? Won't it just be the KEWLEST to see him again? So, scrounge up some floor space and a face for him to put his feet in, people, STAT. Email the mythman at flimflamman@gmail.com with any good news. His humblest cervantes: lubey.

U of A sucks!

Submitted for your approval: a prank I feel is worthy of Irish C and ought to make any Sun Devil proud. Or at least laugh.

As many of you know, I minored in Latin because of my fascination with etymology. One of the first things you learn is the pluralization of Latin words. For example, you have one stimulus, many stimuli. Syllabus becomes syllabi. And so on.

That's why Sara and I thought it was so damned funny when a white Mustang pulled up next to us as we were coming home from dinner. Its vanity University of Arizona license plate said: PENI.

That's it. PENI!

If you'll remember our Latin lesson, peni is the plural form of penus, which means a wang or schlong. Or maybe it was just this poor girl's name. Who cares?

The more important thing here is that it's one letter away from penis, which is English for a wang or schlong. At this point, we were one Sharpie away from hopping out of the car and writing a big S right on there.

Luckily, fate had our back. Peni pulled ahead of us, onto our street and just past our townhouse, into the Galleria Palms apartments. You know, the ones where Seizure Andy lived junior year. And we watched Peni park right in the front.

Sara and I returned home to regroup, and she realized that she had some stick-on lettering laying around. The reflective kind like you put on a mailbox. We grabbed an S and headed for the Palms.

Getting in was the easy part. We snuck in behind a car while the gate was open. We did a recon lap, and then we hung back for a while. Lotta people out and about on a Friday night. Didn't wanna have to off anybody. Keep it clean. A lap around the building, and the Penimobile was still parked.

Of course, we didn't have an exit strategy. We were surrounded by fence, a freeway wall, and a number of eight-foot stucco-on-concrete walls. The traffic had died down, and we couldn't wait around for a car to come. Too suspicious. We didn't have any cigarettes, after all.

We wound up taking the sidewalk halfway around the Galleria Palms, around the back of our smaller condo complex. I hopped the wall there, and Sara got to the top of the fence and had a hard time getting down. Luckily I'm a tall bastard, and she was able to get on my shoulders and ride to safety.

Only one pair of teenagers saw us jumping the fence, and they were probably too stoned to do anything.

But did we get it? You bet your S we did!

Gas Attack '06

Pot-smoking hippies

Irish C has its own listing in the Urban Dictionary. But it isn't entirely accurate ...

A dorm at Arizona State University where pot-smoking hippies live.

When the wind shifts, you can smell the pot smoke from over at Irish C.

This is a little offensive to those of us who were diligent, hard-working drunks. We very often made Irish C smell like a day-old can of beer.

And our pot smokers, for the most part, weren't even hippies. Give this definition a thumbs down and add one of your own. Then we can all give it a thumbs up and reclaim the Urban Dictionary.

On a positive note, Irish B doesn't even have an entry. But if it did ...

A dorm at Arizona State University where hookah-smoking douchebags get drenched by paint grenades.

Those suckers in Irish B were so busy sucking hookah that they never saw it coming.

Here's some interesting facts about Frederick M. Irish, science prof, ASU's first football coach and our old hall's namesake.

Phone card

I just finished reading Cell by Stephen King in which everyone that uses a cell phone is suddenly turned insane because of a signal transmitted through their cell phones. It wasn't all too long ago that we didn't have cell phones. In fact, that first year in Irish C we had our own handy pocket Irish C phone card with all the dorm room numbers and a cute little shamrock on the front to jazz things up. Those that did have cell phones are noted on the front in my freshman year scrawl. I am not listed on the back with Harmony as this list was printed before my November move in.

Sexy Pics

Chime in

In my professional blog, I just posted a longwinded rant about ASU, the City of Tempe and alcohol. And Animal House.

An Irish C topic if ever there was one. I'm not even sure I'm on target with all the stuff I said over there, but I feel like my heart's in the right place, at least.

If anybody still cares about Tempe as bad as I still try to, head over there and post some comments. Tell some friends. Talk it up.

Thanks,

Tim

Smoke out with the Dean!

Big thanks to Garret for this classic.

Back in the day, the Honors College was always plastering Center Complex with signs for events such as Lunch With the Dean or Honors Film Lectures. But no event gave Teri Cisneros a flood of e-mails from excited students like Smoke Out with the Dean!

Mad Dawg made the flyers and put them up in all the usual flyer spots, making sure everyone knew this was an official Honors College event.

Rumor has it that the Dean, Teddy D himself, found the flyers funny. I was hoping we'd know for sure when, on Liz's advice, I sent the ex-Dean an invitation to this blog. I guess he was too busy with other "invigorating" undertakings.

Many thanks to Garret for sending me the original Smoke Out with the Dean Word document. I did my best to reproduce the original below.

---

Attention all Honors Students:

SMOKE OUT WITH THE DEAN!

Join Dean Ted Humphrey and his good friend Mary
Jane for an "“invigorating" time.

Yes, it's free weed and free Dean this Thursday night
at 7:00 PM in the Best C classroom.

Featuring these fun activities:

• Touch the Dean'’s Jimmy Dean


• Who dies first from smoke inhalation?
  

All this to the groovy tunes of Bob Marley
and Hendrix, what more could you want in an Honors
environment?

RSVP to Teri.Cisneros@asu.edu to reserve your place. Hurry,
seats are limited! Duh!

Bone's onto something

So Kevin's been posting a lot of random old stuff, the stuff that sits dormant on people's hard drives for years and years, all but forgotten. But now that we have a blog, we can share our digital nostalgia with anyone and everyone.

So check out this buried treasure:

You're probably thinking, "Is that a drawing of Bregan getting ready to make out with Josh?"

No! It was the masterpiece of my artistic genius combined with Gavin's technical genius. And thanks to Bondelli's driving-me-to-the-Kinko's-on-Power-Road-in-east-Mesa-instead-of-the-one-on-University-and-Rural genius, I was able to print this bad boy out and turn it in for high marks in Professor Danny's THE 101 class.

Hey, if you've got any retro Irish C digital kitsch, throw it up. I know somebody's got an original "Smoke Out with the Dean" flyer.

Now that I think about it, that really does look like Bregan and Josh ...

Drunken Irish Flag Footpall Wallpaper

I can spout some good BS when battling fratties

Dear Sigma Chi,
I am writing this letter to address a situation that has come to concern myself and other students. Last month, a pledge of Sigma Chi at Arizona State University was involved in a fight in a dorm on campus. The student injured by the Pledge was taken to a hospital due to his injuries. The pledge left the dorm and went into hiding for a few days. The police interrogated a few of the residents of the dorm who had witnessed the incident, and one resident in particular gave a large amount of information to the police about the fight and previous problems with the pledge in the dorm. The resident told the police about instances when the Pledge urinated over balconies into the dorm courtyard and onto clothing left in a female bathroom, his abusive consumption of alcohol and harassment of students, destruction of dorm property including trees, and unauthorized use of students' computers to download pornography. This information, along with the name of the resident that provided it was present on the police report that was later given to the pledge upon his arrest. This is not my concern however. Members of the Sigma Chi fraternity made copies of this police report and have posted them throughout the Sigma Chi house. A member of Sigma Chi told residents of the dorm that the student that gave information to the police whose name is on the report is "f***ed" and that "if he ever goes to a frat party or near the Sigma Chi house, he is going to be dead". I am appalled and disappointed at this action taken by the Epsilon Upsilon chapter of the Sigma Chi fraternity. I have met many members of Sigma Chi across Arizona and California, including members from Beta Phi, Zeta Omicron, Zeta Xi, Delta Eta, and Theta Lambda chapters. All of the students I have met from these chapters are excellent people and great examples of Sigma Chi. Sadly, I have not seen the same quality in the members of Epsilon Upsilon. Sigma Chi stands for Friendship, Justice, and Learning, and the response of this chapter to the situation is not justice, or is it gentlemanly conduct. It must not be forgotten that "a Sigma Chi conducts himself as a high minded man and accepts responsibility for himself and his actions". The Pledge should have taken personal responsibility for his actions and the chapter should have accepted that. We also need to remember that "Sigma Chi's do not practice, nor do they condone the practice of, any intensive or abusive behavior towards any individual or group". This targeting of a witness is certainly practicing the practice of abusive behavior towards and individual, and that is not acceptable. I myself am not a member of Sigma Chi, though that may not have been the case had I gone to a different university. If I were to attend UCLA, USD, or even UA, I would have pledged to this wonderful fraternity. Unfortunately the attitudes and actions of the members of Epsilon Upsilon chapter do not appear to reflect those same principals that I see in the others. A great organization was formed at Miami University in 1855, and many great men have been molded from it, true gentlemen. I am afraid that I cannot feel the same way about Arizona State's chapter. I felt that Sigma Chi should know that here at Arizona State, Sigma Chi does not have the respect that it deserves, and it is because of the attitude and actions of the chapter. It is not a gang, though they treat it that way. They should not live by "thug life" as one pledge put it. Epsilon Upsilon is a disgrace to the embodiment of ideals that Sigma Chi represents. I would like to close this letter with what I believe best describes Sigma Chi, Isaac Jordan's Standard:

A man of good character
A student of fair ability
With ambitious purposes
A congenial disposition
Possessed of good morals
Having a high sense of honor
And a deeps sense of personal responsibility

Thank you for your attention,
Kevin Bondelli
P.S. Had it not been for the poor quality of Epsilon Upsilon, I would have been able to call myself your brother, and it saddens me that this cannot be so.

Alana, Cameras, and Cleavage

New Year's 2006

Happy New Year 2006!

The gang's all here for some high caliber meat.....the steak's not bad either.

How happy does Garret look? answer: sooooo happy

Here are some of the hijinx that we got up to this New Year's Eve:
The following participants were involved in the night's activities: Adam, Alana, Sara, Tim, Lewis, Kevin, Geoff, Garret

The night's activities included our traditional dinner at Outback followed by a stroll along Mill Ave at the Tempe Block Party.

Notable appearances were made by: Roger Clyne & the Peacemakers, Blues Traveler, a flask of alcohol, Coors Light van, and Princess Tiara time.

Highlights from the evening: Kevin in a port o potty as the clock struck midnight, only a 30 minute wait at Outback, and front row spots at the Blues Traveler concert (even though their only two good songs are Hook and Runaround)